As much as I would love to be one of the people who say that they do not care about their social media, I can’t. I can’t say it does it affect me and that it doesn’t occasionally bring me down. I can’t say that the algorithm isn’t annoying and that the hierarchy of it all doesn’t bother me. It does, it all does!
A few months ago, I wanted to quit. I wanted to delete my Instagram, de-activate my blog and just go on living a normal life. At that time another algorithm took place and my engagement completely dropped. It was lower than what I had at the same time last year. That hurt. As soon as I hit 10k, it seemed like everything needed to be paid for. If I wanted people to see my posts, I needed to promote the photo.
We work hard. We take our own photos, edit them, produce content and at the same time pursue our careers full time. I opened up a bridal store and Filipp is going strong in his career. ( He is like Chandler from Friends, no-one knows what he does exactly)
One night, I sat with Filipp and told him I was quitting. Why would I keep doing this if no-one cared? Why photograph, share and put myself out there if no-one was there listen? I felt like I wasn’t good enough and that it was all just going down hill.
I deactivated my account, deleted the app. The days after wards were fine, I didn’t feel like I was missing anything but then I went on my blog. I scrolled through the past two years of my life. Saw all of the wonderful memories I shared with the world. The photos from travels and occasions in my life. The opportunities I got to experience solely because of this journey. I couldn’t face the fact that I am just going to quit.
Olesya Pavlyuk is no quitter! I am not going to sit back and take the easy way out. I will continue what I started. When it feels useless, I will press harder! I hyped myself up! Who is going to cheer for me harder than I can cheer for myself? I am my own motivator. The person I want to be, depends on me.
I asked God to show me a purpose. I logged back on and saw my DM’s. Multiple people reaching out and asking questions about my life, my relationship, and how to gain confidence. Ta-da! Here is my purpose.
Since then, I started reading more, writing more, and communicating with you more! Although my “likes” are literally no-existent, my conversations have tripled. The amount of girls I get to chat with on a daily basis, have increased and the amount of times I have to pray for wisdom, are so much higher. I feel like I’ve made new friends, I feel like I am doing good. Instead of causing jealousy I am promoting self love and self worth.
That is another reason why I am now more active on YouTube. I can be myself and I don’t have to face hundreds of picture perfect images that lack humanity.
I don’t know why I got the need to share this. I guess we all go through periods of self-doubt. I am not 100% immune to the affects of social media. I too get carried away in the war of comparison. I took the liberty and unfollowed hundreds of account that benefited me in no way. That cause more harm to my spirit than good. In a way it felt like a cleanse!
Anyways, enough with the rant!
Go be your beautiful self my friends! Go take this world by storm!
P.S. I want to thank all of you who read my blog, who comment on my post and write such sweet messages. We all need affirmation once in a while and some of you gave it to me at just the right time. I hope I can uplift you as much as you uplift me. I am so grateful for the handful of you who keep me going!